How Do You Make a Split Without Screaming?

No, I’m not talking about gymnastics. I’m talking about the split between Europe and the U.S., between vacation and work, between children who still need you and young adults learning to fly. This week felt exactly like that kind of split.

We made it back to Miami after what should have been a 12-hour journey turned into almost 24 hours of travel. Somehow, despite all the delays, we arrived just in time to celebrate Victor’s 16th birthday. I was so happy to get into my own bed—and secretly praying Victor wouldn’t resent us too much for planning our return so close to his birthday! We focused on making it special for him anyway.

I knew exactly what the trip would take out of me. Every time I travel, I hope coming home will be easier, but it never really is. It took me almost a full week to get over the jet lag, and for once I didn’t put too much pressure on myself. I’m still moving at a slower pace than before I left, and that’s okay.

Life doesn’t wait, though. Jaimie is dealing with an infected wisdom tooth and has surgery coming up in a few days. We had to get that sorted quickly. Her pain hurts me more than I can describe.

My mom told me, “Well, that’s what mothers are for—we solve the problems.” A friend added, “You just have to accept their moods.” Neither comment sat well with me.

Yes, we show up when our children need us. We worry, we help, we comfort, and we solve problems when we can. But I don’t like the idea that this is all motherhood is supposed to be. Mothers aren’t here just to absorb stress, fix crises, and quietly accept everything. We’re people too. We also deserve to enjoy our relationships with our children, to laugh together, to be appreciated, and to share the beautiful moments—not only the difficult ones.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons I created Unchained Mothering. I believe motherhood is far richer than the narrow role society so often assigns to it.

I’m saying this as a general thought, not as a complaint. Our second daughter had exactly the summer she wanted. We only saw her three times, for about three hours each, over fifty days—and that’s part of growing up. Now, although I’m grateful her wisdom tooth infection didn’t happen while she was overseas, we’re helping pick up the pieces. She’s doing her best to make it up to us, and honestly, it’s okay. In the end, I’m simply grateful we can be here for her.

Lillyster will soon be back home, and I’m really looking forward to that. As our children grow, life keeps moving, and I realize we’ve entered a new chapter. I have to accept this new normal—one that keeps changing.

Yesterday we also said goodbye to friends we met this year. It’s funny how some people come into your life for such a short time yet leave such a positive mark. They’re moving back to the Netherlands, but I don’t think this is goodbye—just another excuse to find new places to meet.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about work. As an artist, it’s always a balancing act between creating and selling, and if I’m honest, my mind has been a bit of a roller coaster lately. But that’s part of building something that matters. I was also deeply honored to be featured as a FIELD Artist Spotlight, and I have more exciting things to share soon.

Our travels helped me reconnect with my photography. I came home with images I love—now I just have to figure out the best way to share the stories behind them.

For now, I’m simply happy to be home.

With love and light,

Jessica ( aka Hopeje … I m dropping that alias soon)

Ps: for more check my IG @ jessicadevreeze or check the website http://www.jessicadevreeze.com plenty of ways to collect my art 💕 and bring it to your lives.

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