What Mayci Neeley’s Book Reminded Me About Humanity, Womanhood, Motherhood, Courage, and Truth — and What Women Have in Common, Wherever They Come From

November 1, 2025 — Reflections After Finishing Mayci Neeley’s Book “Told you so”

I finally finished Mayci Neeley’s book — one I had preordered months before its release! Funny enough, I’ve never been much into reality TV. I only discovered MomTok late, sometime last spring, and as I have a tendency to do when I get into a TV series, I binge-watched the episodes that caught my interest. But eventually, I had to stop — the constant drama and low blows started putting me in a dark place.

That’s not to judge anyone. In fact, I think doing reality TV is incredibly brave — it takes courage to expose so much of yourself to the public. I kept following two women, including Mayci.

I love reading, but this book wasn’t an easy start. The writing was uneasy to read for many reasons — the style felt like reading someone’s private diary. On top of that, the story was painful, filled with uncomfortable truths and difficult moments. But around page 112, something shifted. From that point on, I couldn’t put it down.

As a mother, it reminded me how deeply I want my children to always feel safe coming to me — no matter what mistake or bad situation they might face (hopefully never, but still) — or at least be able to confide in a good person who can help them if needed. It also reminded me how essential real sexual education is — for both girls and boys — whether it comes from parents or school, ideally both, with a balance and respect for parental consent on what’s shared and when.

Reading Mayci’s story made me realize how many young women and men still lack access to basic contraception or even accurate information. I even flashed back to Bridgerton season one, thinking how, in 2025, some people still understand as little about sexuality as people did centuries ago.

When I was growing up in Paris in the late 90s, the only sexual education I received was a single high school talk about HIV prevention — at 15! We were told to use condoms and that we couldn’t catch HIV from sitting on a metro seat. That was it. Before and after that, I was left to figure things out on my own.

Now, as a mother, I try to do better. I’m open, available, but it’s hard to know when to talk, how much to say, and where to draw boundaries. In New York, my girls had sex education at school; in Miami, I’m not sure how detailed it was. I took them to see a gynecologist around 16, hoping it would help them ask questions and build trust with a doctor they’ll need throughout life.

With my son, it’s different — I try, but as his mom, it feels more complicated. I need my husband to take a bigger role there — better if spoken man to man. But my husband and I are both from a time where it’s quite taboo to speak about sex, and even as I write this, I feel a bit embarrassed — as if this is still a topic we’re not supposed to talk about openly. But there’s nothing shameful about it. Quite the opposite.

She also reminded me of why I started Unchained Mothering. Mayci began writing her book while waiting for her first baby, wanting to help other women. MomTok aims to empower women in the Mormon community and beyond — and while I don’t aspire to do things in the same way, our missions intersect. Unchained Mothering also seeks to honor women’s contributions and empower them to remember their value.

Because the truth is — every woman’s life changes once she becomes (or doesn’t become) a mother. If and when she does, caring for her child becomes the center of every decision — all while she continues to grow into the woman she has always been.

Like Mayci, I believe in valuing men alongside women. We can’t rise by pushing others down — we rise together. I love how she acknowledges her husband with such honesty and grace.

So this is what I wanted to share this Sunday: get her book, and push through the first hundred pages. It’s funny — as you keep reading, her writing grows stronger, and I found myself wondering if she truly wrote it over ten years!

And she reminded me of something else, too: you can’t rush what needs to happen. Trust the journey, trust yourself — and when you’re in a low, remember that there’s always a tomorrow.

Bravo to Mayci’s parents and siblings shout out to her mom, too — what a pillar she has been! And to Mayci, for acknowledging so many people around her. As my friend Diane says, “It takes a village.” Don’t think you’re alone.

And to go back to Mayci’s story — don’t stay in a dark shower. With faith and a good support system, you can make tomorrow what you wish it to be. The sun will shine again. 🌤

With love and light

Jessica de Vreeze aka Hopeje

Ps: interesting to read about her professional journey, will need to write another post about that.