This is me saying it clearly for the future: I refuse to play the broken record, reminding everyone of what needs to be done until it finally gets done—or worse, doing it for them. That cycle is draining and not worth my time or energy.
I’m sure many parents can echo this feeling. The trick, I believe, is boundaries: to pause, look at priorities, and decide what is truly worth my effort. Not giving up—but choosing wisely between letting them take responsibility or stepping in myself so I don’t lose my mind.
This week, I tried the first option. And honestly, I was close to losing my mind anyway. The tasks that needed to be done? They only reached 95% completion. That little missing 5% left me both drained and unsettled, and reminded me that “not completed” is never the same as “completed.” So here I am, realizing that I need to figure out a better parenting strategy. Because parenting is not just about love—it’s also about learning when to hold on, when to let go, and how to keep your own sanity intact in the process.
At the same time, much of our energy was pulled into helping Rocky. After multiple vet visits and even bringing him to the neurologist, the diagnosis was at least a relief—no tumor, no stroke, no dementia. Thankfully, his health is good. The issue seems to be lingering pain from his UTI and a mix of behavioral anxiety. Still, every time he’s left alone, he manages to damage something: the door molding, sometimes even the WiFi. And as much as I love him, his anxiety completely drains me. He mirrors my empathy right back at me, and I feel his stress so deeply it becomes my own.
With too many meetings ahead this week, I finally sought help with the dogs (for the upcoming week) to make sure they are cared for properly (plus, I really don’t want to add more house repairs to the list). I hope this shift will help both Rocky and me. Ruby, our second dog, is collateral in all of this—but the truth is, they both seemed happy, and it gives me the help I so badly need right now.
This weekend, my husband brought our daughter to her college destination. By the way, I was supposed to be the one bringing her, but since he had to travel for work, we switched places 😭. Still, I’m happy they could share that special moment together. On the other hand, I needed this time to get some work completed and just be.
This Sunday afternoon, after bringing our dogs, I had the chance to spend a nice moment with our son. We went to a candle-making workshop (if that isn’t love from a son to his mom, I don’t know what is!), followed by tacos and ice cream. Later, we caught up with our older daughter up in upstate New York, and I even carved out a quiet moment to write.
Am I having a midlife crisis, or am I just learning that I need to slow down and care for myself? Maybe both. Last Tuesday, I started a class with Michal Spiegelman, Soulful Transformation. I had to interrupt it and see how to deal with my son’s foot—he now has a boot for a few weeks! We got lucky. He was bouldering and felt “10 feet high,” unstoppable, until the fall reminded us of gravity. Still, I managed to catch the second half of the class. By the end, the assignment was clear: focus on three values important to me. For this week, I chose self-care, self-love, and joy-fullness. They became an anchor, something to hold onto so I wouldn’t drown in sadness or in the temptation to give up.
Because it’s hard, isn’t it? Hard to cancel yourself, hard to let everything and everyone pass in front of your own needs. And yet, as Carolina Avaria reminded us, as women—at least in our generation—we are often raised with guilt when it comes to taking care of ourselves, or deciding something that might not be for our family first. (More on this in the Unchained Mothering video series—we are filming 5 Years Later right now.)
And this brought me back to how important it is to have your community and friends who support one another. My grandma Myra struggled for years with her weight, and decided to join Overeaters Anonymous. She never missed a meeting, took on responsibilities, and sponsored others. She was a beacon of love and light.
While watching the series MOM on Netflix, central character are moms / women finding their way out of addiction to drugs and alcohol—it reminded me of a clear message : you can get yourself out of any situation, especially if you are not alone. It also shows how vital it is to value yourself, to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others, and to remember that friendship, love, and life are journeys best taken together. ( I recommend the show its full of wisdom and fun to watch).
As we are heading towards the Jewish New Year and 23 months since the attacks, I pray for the return of all remaining hostages and for their families. Almost two years—it’s hard to believe! This past week has brought more sad pictures along the way, but I trust that as we keep our north stars and values on track, we will find our way despite those who keep bringing so much darkness. The smallest light outshines any amount of darkness.
On this, I wish you all a good week ahead.
With love and light always,
Jessica
so parislux ! 
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