How about when your first child goes to College!

Happy for her, proud, moved and yet it feels so empty.

Some people say ,well you have 2 other kids still at home. And I say, well each child is unique, one does not replace the other.

Having children, is exactly like loving, in your life the love you have just multiplies, it is infinite, you just don’t move “love “credit”‘ from one person to the next, it adds up and is exponential.

The only unit that is not infinite is Time, we all get 24h in a day, 7 days a week and 364/365 days a year unless you are able to time travel.

Let’s go back to this college thing, and how you realize what the word empty nest means.

In the meantime, you don’t want to aggravate what your child of 18 years old may feel as she is as well far from home.

You do rejoice and hope she enjoys this new path, because you remember that when you were 18 and a university student life had also tones of excitement and you did want to leave your parents and enjoy these new steps.

I am here the parent that let her child go, she is the college student that steps in her new life (and yes I do not assume that she doesn’t miss us, its just a different position).

When I was a student my situation was different than hers, I did not experience the same so I can’t even hold on to memories of the past to reassure myself. She is the first of our family to embrace an American college apart from my dad and his side of the family. I was raised in Paris, the best law university was there and there was no reason to move out of my parents until I was done and able to afford an apartment by myself. I left at 23 or 22 and a half… it’s an other ball game. I also left 4 hours and a half away by train or car. Sure we had other challenges, I had moved to another country Luxembourg, and phone communications were super expensive, so I could not call more than a couple of minutes per days, Internet was not as developed as now, and phones did not have 100 apps.

My mom and my sister told me how much they missed me, the first week on my side I felt pretty isolated as well, living on my own (no campus, no internet, no friends yet and barely no phone), I lost 7 pounds as I did not want to cook for myself (boring) and then I took the hand of the guy next to me, dragged him to the bottom of the amphitheater and said to all my fellow students (about a 100) Hello my name is Jessica, here is (Max, I forgot to ask before dragging him down) we are all starting a great year together (I was doing my bar exam) let’s gather at the bar/coffee place next to the University and meet each other. We got about 35 of them who came and the rest was history.

I wish our daughter to enjoy every step of the way, to know we are always here and her place is always in our heart and home. I trust she’ll be fine and I pray for all to go well and for her to bounce back easily when she’ll face challenges along the way.

It is a new path for all of us, one that we can’t prepare ourselves enough, until we live it.

All the best to parents and families facing the same new beginnings. And to all new college students have fun, be safe and enjoy this new adventure.

We know you have to tools to make the best out of it. ( as do we… one step at the time)

With love and light,

Jess

Ps: to explain the photo showing me pushing a cart of boxes. I went a little crazy trying to get our daughter all she could be needing. We live 1 plane ride away plus 4 hours and a half drive of her college, or 2 plane rides away and 40 mn drive! Or 22 hours drive from home! So we took luggages to move her and we ordered some items to be delivered at the hotel we were staying at prior to the move. For example these boxes contained hangers, pillow, a duvet etc… On move in day One other mom we met at the hotel’s breakfast said it perfectly! “I have never bought so many things at once, and I m not a big shopper in general, but We as mothers have the feeling this is the best way to try to be there for our kids, trying to make sure they wont miss anything”

PPS: The day prior move in was also the first time we discovered her college!